Tuesday, August 21, 2007
G is for Growing Older
Please note I did not say "growing old." I have accepted growing older quite nicely -- the number doesn't bother me at all. What I don't like are the unexplained changes in my body shape, the way my system handles what used to be normal occurrences. Sometimes it's as if aliens have invaded this body. I don't recognize it at all. There seems to be a time when the recognition of age clicks. I remember being in my late 30s, maybe 38 or so, and all of a sudden I became aware that men weren't looking at me, they were looking at my daughter. It was one of those moments that I really realized I was getting older. The awareness now is one of realizing that I can't get everything done. I've always operated with the idea that I can do anything and knew few limits -- not that I actually DID everything, but I felt like I could. I'm more aware of limitations. On the other hand, I am a lot freer to say or do or think what I want than I've been in the past. It's a liberty I'm giving myself. It's kind of odd to think it doesn't matter.