It's been eleven weeks since I moved to Pittsburgh. Three of these were spent in a dazed funk trying to get my bearings; three were spent back in Oklahoma, so essentially I've been functioning here about five weeks. There are definitely things I miss about Tulsa, which may surprise some people since I've complained about living in Oklahoma all my life.
Part of it is the ease of getting around and taking care of life's business. For example, Whole Foods is "right there" in Tulsa. I could drive there in a flash. Michael's and Hobby Lobby, for all they don't have, were on the way home from almost any place. And don't forget the drug store on every corner.
Yes, there's a Whole Foods here, yes there's Trader Joe's, and "real" art supply stores, but every one is an outing. I haven't been to Whole Foods; I've been to Trader Joe's once which was a disappointment because they don't sell wine here since all the liquor stores are state owned. That was a surprise to me because I have been thinking the reason T-Joe's didn't come to Tulsa was Oklahoma liquor laws. So much for that theory.
Some days I ask myself why I'm here. I miss Tom, miss our routine, miss figuring out what I can cook that he'll eat and I will still enjoy cooking it.
On the flip side, I'm energized by discovering areas with fresh markets, sidewalk vendors, local galleries and sales. I'm empowered by finding my way home without backtracking and tears and frustration. I have to admit I think I've regenerated some brain cells in this process. It feels good to have reached the edge of my comfort zone and then kicked myself in the butt.
But forget for a minute about comfort zones and personal energy. There's a different type of energy that encircles me when I witness Lucy's excitement about finding a baby ladybug on the nature walk field trip, when I laugh til my sides hurt because Sam is afraid people will think we're homeless if we eat on the lawn of a restaurant because the music is too loud and the air conditioning is too cold inside; when Henry beams just because I watch him play his computer games for a while. These are just simple everyday things, not big events. These are things that aren't special to tell anyone about, and yet for me, right now, these are the things I think about when I go to bed. When I think about my week. These are the reasons I'm glad I'm here.
3 comments:
Sounds like you are finding your way in your new environment. Good for you! Your brain cells are probably very excited! Did you see I edited my post on the olive cheese bread? Here's the link to the recipe: http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2007/06/olive_cheese_br/
Take care!
It's very sweet that your precious grands give you more encouragment than anything or anyone else at this moment. Remember that not only are you being blessed by their presence but I am very sure that they are the ones receiving the biggest blessings having their Yaya available at any moment. And to have a Yaya that doesn't mind sitting on the lawn at a restaurant to eat, will be able to teach a lot. You have such a unique spirit, there is something in you that most people lack today. Finding simple pleasures and joy in the very little things is rare indeed. Thanks for encouraging and inspiring me just through your journaling.
I have to say I have truly enjoyed having you here to relish those "little" moments. They are hilarious, boring and annoying all at the same time and they definitely lose something in translation.
I know it is a struggle to find your way here (physically and mentally) but the first hand knowledge of Japanese erasers, Sam's awkward entry into baseball and Henry's delight at having a quiet refuge at Yaya's house (to name only a few) has got to make it worthwhile.
I think having you here helps remind me of what's really important. I am continually grateful that you "get" what I'm talking about without me having to explain it. That's truly priceless.
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