Absence

I haven't blogged for a while, and though I like to reference my "blogging without obligation" icon, if I'm honest, I know it's because the things on my mind have been things I also wanted to keep quiet. It's very stifling trying to hide things from others. Hiding things from ourselves is just as stifling.

I've been saying lately that I want 30 days to reacquaint myself with myself. I don't really know what this means, but I keep remembering a gimmick phrase for intimacy -- in-to-me-see. This is what I feel like I need right now. Some time with no expectations, no demands, no "I should be"s -- to rediscover who I am.

I feel guilty and shallow in some regard even thinking about this. My friend, whose husband suffered the brain injury, is practically held hostage as he heals. Not able to get out for simple pleasures without making arrangements and plans. Her spontanaeity is certainly stifled. I guess it doesn't really matter what stifles us, it all feels the same if we let it.